One day I was working in the back and a little breeze had picked up. I watched a dragonfly attach itself to a stick and it wouldn't let go. The breeze was bending the dead branch and the dragonfly's thin glass-like wings would flutter a little bit, but it was only to keep it holding on to the branch.
I sat there and watched this in amazement. I had just spent the past few weeks telling the Lord that I didn't think that I was strong enough to go through certain things that I was going through. I wasn't trying to wimp out, I honestly had come to the place where I realized that I was in over my head, it was to much for one person to handle.
At the same time, in me was stirring a resolution to allow God to take control. To rely on Him more, to let go more and just "do the next thing"; I wasn't going to look at what wasn't happening, but on what was happening that day, that hour, that moment and I found myself content.
My contentment didn't stop people from commenting on the series of unfortunate events that had recently taken place in our lives. Comments of "You always have things happen to you."; "I don't know how you deal with this..." and etc. It was funny to read in a book that I just finished, that the author had gone through the SAME EXACT THING. Her circumstances were different of course, but the response was the same from others. Her (paraphrased) comment on it was "the last thing you tell a hurting person is how bad their life is". A person knows when things aren't going in an easy, go with the flow manner. I certainly know, really who doesn't?
For weeks, I have mulled over these scriptures:
"...but I press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
I like how the Phillips translation says it:
"...but I keep going on, trying to grasp that purpose for which Christ Jesus grasped me.
But I concentrate on this: I forget all that lies behind me and with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead I go straight for the goal - my reward the honour of my high calling by God in Christ Jesus."
I have been created for a purpose and it is simply to know Christ. The things that I go through only allow me the opportunity to better know Him. I need His strength to get through these things, I need His wisdom to figure out which way to go, I need His love to fill my heart each day so that I can share it. I want to be like that dragonfly that just kept holding on until it was the right time to let go because when he let go; I watched him soar higher than my old English walnut trees.
Jesus says, "Cast ALL your cares on Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) I have been and at times, somethin' fierce! A couple verses later, the Bible says, " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (verse 10)
The strength of a person only lies in how often they use it. If it is my greatest desire to keep my eyes on Christ and do the things that He has asked of me; my strength in Him will grow. My faith muscles will grow. I will be able to hold on when the wind picks up just as my dragonfly friend showed me.
It is only when I take my eyes off Christ, my Glorious Prize, that I loose strength and my faith becomes weak, my spiritual muscles become small and I lose my grip.
I learned a valuable lesson that day, one that I hope to not quickly forget, I haven't so far!